EEEEK!!!
My anxiety is on a Hiiighhh!
I have a test tomorrow that I have viewed as the mountain top for quite some time now.
In the months leading up to my graduation from my master's program, it was made apparent that "The Test" would be the catalyst for opportunities in the future. That your said future was and would be riding on the results of that test.
At this time, I am unsure if that were the actual words spoken to me or if I'm making it up in my mind right now. But regardless of what was said, it how I currently have made myself feel about this test.
I don't like stating that I am a terrible test taker. I don't like the idea of speaking that over myself, skills, or upcoming tests. I like to believe that the answer is there. It has to be. My ability to discern the answer is the aspect of testing I dislike because I won't know everything. Which has resulted in merely being hopeful that what I do know is on the test and that I have the focus to select the correct answers.
But as I think about my anxious feelings I feel that it is less related to the actual test and more about the moments after the test. The moments, decisions, and behaviors afterwords. WHO WILL I BE IF I FAIL THIS TEST?
Who am I without the results I would desire?
I feel like it's a different test than that of my past trails. In the past, no matter the results of a game lost or a game won, I was still a basketball player. I still had my shoes, I still had my jersey, my teammates, etc. There was always the practices and other games that I would test my skills as a basketball player. But the identity in being a basketball player never left. Of course, until I retired and CHOSE to switch gears into another profession I loved. But during that time, my identity was still intact.
Yet, counseling doesn't feel like the same win or loss scenario. Yes, I could test and test again. Ha but eventually I will run out of opportunities and will be fed up with the amount of money, time, and effort I am spending on testing for something I feel connected/called to do yet I am not producing the means I feel is necessary to progressing forward. Yikes!
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Oh, ye of little faith.
Don't you know that He is God and has plans for you far beyond what you can dream, imagine, or foresee?
Why are you worried about who you will be when the creator has already instilled in you a purpose far beyond a test result? Far beyond and masters level education. Far beyond the world you currently live in. The results of this exam will only add to who you already are. The result of it can only be GOOD for it is He who knows the next steps in your life. Where you will go, who you will meet, the lives you will touch. The test results will be GOOD because He is GOOD. He will not leave you nor forsake you. He has been and will always be with you in each stage and step of this journey.
Remember His Yes's are great and his No's are far greater as they are protecting, shielding, preparing you for something that is far more desirable for yourself and his kingdom. Because He is great, this too (test) will pass. It will be a mere fragment of your past that will have in fact catapulted your career. A mere stepping stone in the direction you desire for yourself and then some.
Your God is Faithful! There is no test He has ever failed, no game He has ever lost. Walk within your faith young one. Worry and be anxious about nothing. Hasn't He cared, loved, sheltered you before? Believe and receive that He will only continue to do so now. His love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Remember, lateral movements are still progressive moments.
Who are you without the test results you desire?
You are...
Resilient
Smart
Passionate
Significant
Purposeful
Encouraging
Nurturing
Wise
A Listener
A Counselor
A Dreamer
A Believer
A Fighter
My anxiety is on a Hiiighhh!
I have a test tomorrow that I have viewed as the mountain top for quite some time now.
In the months leading up to my graduation from my master's program, it was made apparent that "The Test" would be the catalyst for opportunities in the future. That your said future was and would be riding on the results of that test.
At this time, I am unsure if that were the actual words spoken to me or if I'm making it up in my mind right now. But regardless of what was said, it how I currently have made myself feel about this test.
I don't like stating that I am a terrible test taker. I don't like the idea of speaking that over myself, skills, or upcoming tests. I like to believe that the answer is there. It has to be. My ability to discern the answer is the aspect of testing I dislike because I won't know everything. Which has resulted in merely being hopeful that what I do know is on the test and that I have the focus to select the correct answers.
But as I think about my anxious feelings I feel that it is less related to the actual test and more about the moments after the test. The moments, decisions, and behaviors afterwords. WHO WILL I BE IF I FAIL THIS TEST?
Who am I without the results I would desire?
I feel like it's a different test than that of my past trails. In the past, no matter the results of a game lost or a game won, I was still a basketball player. I still had my shoes, I still had my jersey, my teammates, etc. There was always the practices and other games that I would test my skills as a basketball player. But the identity in being a basketball player never left. Of course, until I retired and CHOSE to switch gears into another profession I loved. But during that time, my identity was still intact.
Yet, counseling doesn't feel like the same win or loss scenario. Yes, I could test and test again. Ha but eventually I will run out of opportunities and will be fed up with the amount of money, time, and effort I am spending on testing for something I feel connected/called to do yet I am not producing the means I feel is necessary to progressing forward. Yikes!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh, ye of little faith.
Don't you know that He is God and has plans for you far beyond what you can dream, imagine, or foresee?
Why are you worried about who you will be when the creator has already instilled in you a purpose far beyond a test result? Far beyond and masters level education. Far beyond the world you currently live in. The results of this exam will only add to who you already are. The result of it can only be GOOD for it is He who knows the next steps in your life. Where you will go, who you will meet, the lives you will touch. The test results will be GOOD because He is GOOD. He will not leave you nor forsake you. He has been and will always be with you in each stage and step of this journey.
Remember His Yes's are great and his No's are far greater as they are protecting, shielding, preparing you for something that is far more desirable for yourself and his kingdom. Because He is great, this too (test) will pass. It will be a mere fragment of your past that will have in fact catapulted your career. A mere stepping stone in the direction you desire for yourself and then some.
Your God is Faithful! There is no test He has ever failed, no game He has ever lost. Walk within your faith young one. Worry and be anxious about nothing. Hasn't He cared, loved, sheltered you before? Believe and receive that He will only continue to do so now. His love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Remember, lateral movements are still progressive moments.
Who are you without the test results you desire?
You are...
Resilient
Smart
Passionate
Significant
Purposeful
Encouraging
Nurturing
Wise
A Listener
A Counselor
A Dreamer
A Believer
A Fighter
"Shoot for the moon for even if you miss, you'll land amoungst the stars"
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