2k16 Monie
Looking back, 2016 Simone was fresh out of her last relationship and was desperately trying to find "The Right Path."
Yes, I'm going to write in 3rd person... it helps me tell the stories.
2k16 Simone was on the hunt to find the path that would map out the rest of her life, a clear map. One that was color-coordinated with signals, exist, and various pitstops along the way. She was in search of the perfect map that would lead her to have a full life, one that she could be happy with and that her Lord savor would be proud of. You see that was her desire, to please the Lord because her life before wasn't, how could it have been?
May 2016 Simone had recently been rebaptized as many Christians do when they are ready to be born again. Maybe they had committed at an early age because their parents made them or to be cool like they're friends who were all doing it. Committing to a lifestyle they had no idea what it all meant. So this was me, I remember being 5 or 6 and simply standing up at our first home church here in Texas, I was sitting with an elder of the church and asked her to walk me down so that I could be baptized. So she did. My mother tells me later that she was in the bathroom with my brother at the time and totally missed it. But I was baptized. I was good. I was going to Heaven, right?
Well, yes and no. See now that I'm a bit more seasoned in my understanding of what it means to be a Christian, I see it as a daily commitment to serve, believe, and behave in a way that not only shines light on Gods kingdom and who He is but that is also shining a light on how imperfect I am as a human being. The fact that I will always ask for forgiveness. That I will always have troubles and will need to seek guidance on those very troubles are a few of the aspects of Christianity that make me a believer. But my most favorite part that I have learned is that through all of my missteps, I will always have someone looking out for me and above all loving me through it.
There is no such thing as a "perfect path." There's not a plan, a blueprint to follow, a google map destination, or a pirates treasure map that will lead me to exactly where I need to be. Where I need to be is literally in the journey. Looking back, I was young(er) and desperately searching for what was going to happen next for myself. I wanted to do right. I wanted to be right and therefore I searched for clarity. (Controlling much Mone?)
However, within those desires, I have relaized now that every step prior to those thoughts, every sin, every "mistep," were all various pieces needed to be where I am today. My faith would not be as strong without them, my accomplishements would not have been as statisfiying without them, my relationship with Jesus, honetly would not exist in the ways it does now. So much of my life would have been different had I made a bunch of different decisions back then. "No Ragerts," right?
And I, in the present feel confident telling myself in the future, that this same process will be as true then as it is now as it was before. The idea is not to do things perfectly. It is not to do them right. What I have learned is that walking with Christ and walking in faith is to simply go through what is directly in front of me. Tackel that as best I can and the rest will follow. There is no perfect desination here, so why worry about it? Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown in the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?---NKJ Matthew 6:30
So seek first the Kingdom
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